Monday, November 27, 2006

I know what you are looking for - and its not here

My understanding is that there has been a change in the Google algorithm so that if you are looking for porn, you may not find it as easily. See here:

Apparently, Google is now assuming that you are not looking for porn until you refine your search and make it really, really clear that you are. Why they would do this, I don’t know. I would think that they would assume that you are looking for porn, because you probably are.

I have a stat counter on this blog that tells me what keywords people are using to find us. There is a sudden uptick in “nurse giving rectal temperature, pic.” Apparently, there are a few medical fetishes out there. I’m so sorry to disappoint you with our domestic blog. It’s a timely search though because my son has a double ear infection. We’ve had a few rectal temps around here. Now if I could just get my wife to wear this outfit for me.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Quick Update

I have an overwhelming desire to post to my blog tonight. I am such a geek. Not much is happening here though. Little guy is almost walking. He is cruising around the furniture, but he isn’t quite there just yet. We think he is teething. He is running a fever and is drooling like crazy, but we haven’t seen any pearly whites just yet.

My wife is working a lot. She is working tonight as a matter of fact. Me? I am still trying to get a consulting practice going. I joined a networking group where you are supposed to meet one on one with all of the members. There are thirty members, so I am running around like crazy meeting with everyone. It’s kind of funny because I don’t have much work to do. I kind of feel like I have an imaginary job. I’m running around the city going to meetings and I pass out business cards, and that's about it.

Also, I don’t quite know what to obsess about now that the anti-gay marriage amendment might actually be dead. I just don’t know what to replace it with. I worry about money a lot. If we ever become financially solvent, I might have a real crisis on my hands.

Since I have broken my rules about not posting pictures, I thought I would give you guys one more.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

I do not feel pretty

Anne Sexton said something to the affect of: I use to be pretty, now I’m just me. I have been looking all over the internet for the actual quote. If anyone knows it, please email me or leave it in the comments.

Blogs are weird. They are personal and public at the same time. This feels like a personal post, but I don’t know most of you, so I am going to blog it anyway. I am going to trust that those of you who do know me, love me enough not to hold my character defects against me.

I have been thinking about this quote lately. I look a lot different than I did before the baby, and its not sitting so well with me. I had a horrible pregnancy and gained 80lbs. I am still lugging around 40 of it. I use to have long, red hair, but it changed color during the pregnancy. For expediency’s sake, I chopped it all off. I am still getting use to my new self.

So this is the part that is hard for me to talk or blog about. I did not realize until now how much I leveraged my prettiness in the world. I would categorize the new people that I would meet into two categories. “Prettier than me” and “Not Prettier”. If I was uncomfortable in a situation, I could rely upon my physical attractiveness to help me meet people. People were interested in me.

Now, I know. I know. I know. Pretty vain. Pretty shallow. In my defense, it has a lot to do with my upbringing. My mother, despite giving birth to 5 children, remained at a fashionable 110 her whole life. She use to say things to me like, “There’s no reason to learn how to change a tire, just stand by the side of the road and look cute. Someone will help you out.” It’s a terrible message. But there was a truth to it. I was often pulled over for speeding, the policeman never gave me a ticket. Even more bothersome to me is that I really think people took my opinions more seriously 3 years ago than they do now. To be fat is to be invisible. Like the erstwhile quote says, now I’m just me.

I ran across something today that I wanted to share. It is from the blog, Dress A Day.

You Don't Have to Be Pretty. You don't owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don't owe it to your mother, you don't owe it to your children, you don't owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked "female".

What it all boils down to now is that I just don’t have pretty in me anymore. I know I could do something about it. I can’t make myself younger, but I could lose the weight. I could scrape up the money to visit those Newbury salons I use to frequent. But I won’t. I guess this is how someone falls into the “Not Pretty” column of the debit sheet.

I have been trying to think of new ways to leverage myself. Did you see “The Fisher King?” In the movie, the Amanda Plummer character complains to Mercedes Ruehl that she has no personality. Mercedes Ruehl says “You want a personality? You can be a real bitch.” So instead of being the pretty one, maybe I will be the bitchy one for a change. Besides, I have since learned that you don’t actually need to know how to change a tire if you have Triple A.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Am I dreaming?

I am feeling somewhere between totally relieved and totally confused. When I first heard that the legislators recessed from the ConCon, I really thought the lawmakers were just postponing the inevitable or buying time. But the word from BayWindows is that this is a victory. They say that it’s unlikely that the legislators will take this up in January. My wife is at the hospital and I had just put the baby to bed. Reading the news coming out of the ConCon, I was just so filled with emotion I broke down and cried. Can I really not worry about this anymore? Can I stop taking my French lessons that I don’t study for anyway?

That and seeing the Democrats take both the House and the Senate AND Rumsfield stepping down. What a difference a couple of years makes.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Election day - finally! We win!

The elections were really exciting. I was very proud of my home state of Arizona for being the first state to reject an anti-gay amendment.

My excitement has been offset with a sense of sadness tonight. Tomorrow, the Massachusetts legislator’s will meet to decide whether or not to advance our own anti-gay marriage amendment.

From what I have read, barring any procedural moves, it will probably pass this year. It could end up on the ballot in 2008. I am so proud of Boston sometimes. I feel like a real citizen here. I don’t feel that way towards the entire country. Anti-gay measures in places like Virginia and Missouri tell me that they don’t want me here. I am happy to oblige. But I really like Massachusetts. It makes me sad that people feel that this is even an issue.

I know in the long run there is a good chance we will win. By the time it’s on the ballot, gays and lesbians will have been marrying for four years. That is a pretty long time. And we now have Deval in the corner office. In the meantime, its scary and demoralizing to constantly have my rights questioned.
Sometimes, when I look at my son, I am happy that he understands so little. He doesn't know there is hatred. He doesn't know that there are people out there who hates his family. He just moves through his days looking for his next adventure