Why I may be going to law school

Housewife asked when did the law school thing happen. All I can say is that it’s been a long time coming. I took the LSATs a couple of years ago. I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to go, but I thought I would just study, and then take the test. I had horrible test anxiety, and didn’t sleep at all the night before. In my test taking section, I was the oldest one in the room by a decade. I thought to myself, “What are you doing here, Googie?”

But I did pretty well on the test. Then, Jen said to me, “Googie, you can have a baby or you can go to law school, but you can’t do both.” I choose the baby, of course. But once lil’ guy was here, I pointed out to my wife that some cash right about now would be nice. We decided that I would just apply to some law schools around town to see what happened. To my great surprise (and I mean that) I got into my first choice. They call when they accept you, and I seriously thought they had made a mistake. I kept asking Jen, “Do you think they put my application in the wrong pile?” She assured me that they were pretty careful about these things.

I have to admit, I am still not 100% certain, but I think I’m going.

My offline friends have asked me why I want to be a lawyer. I think because I am a lesbian, they expect a mooney answer like I want to save blind kitty cats from global warming, or something like that. The truth is I want to go because 1. I think I have the brain for it 2. I am horribly bored with the industry I am in now 3. somebody around here needs to start making some serious money.

Jen and I want to have more children. They will need braces, vacations, toys and if you live in Boston, money for private school tuition. Our hope is that I will make enough when I get out for Jen to stay at home with the kids while I work.

So that is the law school story.

Older, but not terribly mature

I had a lot of complications with my pregnancy starting right at the get go. I won’t distress you with the details, but I was in and out of the hospital a lot. There was a lot of paperwork involved, and right on top of each section was the warning “Advanced Maternal Age.” But I am only 35! I would protest. It’s not like I was that 60 year old woman who just had twins. But there it was in black and white, an older mother.

Now that I have been admitted to law school, I keep getting these emails from one of the universities where I have been accepted. Apparently they have a group for students like me, its “the Older and Wiser group.” I just got an email from them today. My first reaction was, “gasp”, and them “f***ck u!” I’m so not going to that school.

By the way, I did decide on a school, one without and older law students’ league. I sent in my first deposit today. It still doesn’t feel real. I’ll believe it when I sign the promissory note for the 100,000 loan.

First Birthday

I have been away from blogging because we had a busy weekend. We had a 1 year party for my little guy. That means dealing with the in laws. Honestly, they are a great family, but they are cut from an entirely different cloth than my “get drunk and let everyone know what you think about them” relatives. They communicate in a waspy code I haven’t yet been able to decipher. They tiptoe around making seemingly mild statements. I later learn that these gentle musings are packed with layers of meaning. For instance, my mother-in-law will say innocuously, “The baby is getting so good at walking.” I later learn from my wife that translates to, “Your son is not wearing appropriate shoes. And why not? Because you don’t have a job and can’t afford them. I know you want to stay home with the baby, but I want a straight daughter. Looks like nobody is going to get what they want.”

I have a hard time navigating this world. I should have paid better attention in English Lit when we were reading Edith Wharton. Part of the reason I have a hard time is that I don’t know when to shut up. And there are a whole host of things that shouldn’t be talked about. My wife forgets that I don’t speak Wasp, and forgets to warn me not to talk about certain things. For instance, law school. Apparently, we were supposed to keep my law school attendance a secret until I graduated. Boy, wouldn’t they have been surprise.

Another secret? Chili. My wife and I love my chili. I was brought up in the Southwest, and I can make a bowl of chili. But my father in law has a recipe as well. Its heart healthy, and doesn’t taste at all like it should. I’m sorry, but if there is no bacon grease or beef, you don’t have chili. You have some sort of northeastern bean stew. So when I was talking to my mother in law about the party, she asked me what we were serving.

“Cold cuts,” I said, “oh, and chili.”
“We can bring the chili,” she said.
“That’s ok. We can make it here.”
“Everybody loves Warren’s chili.”

And I knew I had lost.

“Why did you tell her we were having chili?” my wife asked.
“I didn’t know it was a secret.”
“Now we have to have their chili.”
“I just want to be able to talk to them honestly. You know, tell them we prefer our chili.”
“Sorry, it’s complicated.” Translation: “My mother wants a straight daughter, and she’s not going to get that any more than you are going to get to eat your own chili. Looks like nobody is going to get what they want.”