Thursday, January 11, 2007

Figure it out

My life has become a Rubriks cube, of sorts. If one part of my life lines up, then all the other sides get jumbled.

Right now I am not working, and am able to spend a lot of time with my son. That makes me happy. However, this has been accompanied by a lot of hand wringing over money. My wife is a dyke of the Waspish variety, and it is not like her to come out and say what she thinks. So every month, I hear some variation of, “I just wanted to let you know that we aren’t going to be able to pay all of our bills this month.” I have been married long enough to know that means, “Would you go out and get a job already, you’re KILLING me.”

If I get a job in my old industry, it would probably solve our financial problems, BUT it means working long hours. I won’t be able to see my son much, and that’s not ok. If I get a part time job, I will make less money, and I am not sure the expense of daycare would be justified. However, if I don’t work at all, we continue to have financial problems. See what I mean? I can’t get the situation to work!

I was so desperate that I actually called up my last employer to inquire about getting my job back. This is the job where I dragged my humongous, pregnant belly out the door, spitting and screaming, head turning a 180, spewing venom. I was a little pissed because I was pregnant, and they were doing construction on the building. I was genuinely afraid of lead and asbestos, and maybe being a little dramatic for affect. At any rate, they wouldn’t hire me back. Go figure.

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